Maypole
by jkdg3461
Summary: ONESHOT! "You're as gay as a maypole, Potter," Malfoy burst out. "And I can't believe you have the nerve to stand there and deny it!" HPDM slash.


**Takes place in that point of time in **_**Order of the Phoenix**_** where everyone is teasing Harry about what appears in the Daily Prophet, though this isn't **_**quite**_** a usual news story. OOC-ness.**

"Hey, Potter!"

"Oh, no," Harry muttered to Ron. Hermione and Ron exchanged significant glances, which Harry ignored.

"Potter!"

"Let's go," Harry urged them.

The three of them quickened their pace and sped along the corridor, attempting to reach the safety of a classroom before the owner of the voice could catch them. They reached a door, but it was locked.

"_Alohomora_!" Hermione yelled, but Harry grabbed her arm and pulled her away.

Pushing through the post-lunch crowds, they sprinted up and down staircases, ran around corners and flung themselves into hidden hallways, but to no avail: there was a set of footsteps thundering after them all the way.

Finally, as they neared Gryffindor tower, there was a deafening shout: "_Diffindo_!"

Harry swore under his breath and Ron let out a high-pitched squeal as the strap on Harry's bag snapped cleanly in two, spilling books, quills and ink all over the floor.

"Should've known," Harry muttered, as the footsteps got closer. "Tried it in fourth year."

"See you in the common room," Ron said quickly, and Harry looked up to see the portrait slam shut behind him and Hermione.

Harry reached for his ink-stained copy of _Unfogging the Future_, but a highly polished shoe stepped on top of it. Harry looked up into the steely grey eyes of one Draco Malfoy.

"If I didn't know better," Malfoy said, smirking, "I'd think you were avoiding me, Potter."

"What, me?" Harry said innocently, getting to his feet. "Wouldn't dream of it. To what do I owe this pleasure, Malfoy?"

"Just thought you'd want to keep up with your press clippings," Malfoy replied, retrieving a rolled-up copy of _Witch Weekly_ from his bag and handing it to Harry.

"I didn't think you read this," Harry said suspiciously, flipping to page twelve, which promised '**A WORLD EXCLUSIVE ON HARRY POTTER!**' in a booming voice. A few Gryffindors passed, heading for the common room, and laughed derisively or glared suspiciously at Malfoy.

"Enjoy," Malfoy smirked, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. Harry sighed and began to read.

_**THE BOY WHO LOVED**_

_The public now knows that the Daily Prophet was wrong about Harry Potter, Boy-Who-Lived. Last year, articles were published stating that Potter, his friend, Hermione Granger, and well-known Bulgarian Quidditch player, Viktor Krum, were __allegedly involved in a torrid love triangle. Granger received hate mail for a short period of time afterwards, berating her for "playing with Potter's emotions"._

_The public stood by Harry Potter, hating those that scorned him. The question now lies in whether the public will continue to stand by him, as a new revelation comes to light regarding everyone's favorite __hero: it is now common knowledge that Potter is in fact gay!_

_Potter has been said to have had romantic links to Gilderoy Lockhart (the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts three years ago) and Remus Lupin (Potter's Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher two years previously)._

_Now that the fact has been made clear…_

Harry stopped reading and threw the magazine onto the floor as if it had bitten him.

"No way," he snapped, pointing at the crumpled magazine and glaring at Malfoy.

"I always knew it," Malfoy said matter-of-factly, picking up the magazine and pushing it back into his bag. "You _are_ gay. I thought so, since first year, but why you chose that Weasley creature over _me_ has always been a perplexing question. Care to clarify?"

"I'm – not – gay," Harry insisted through gritted teeth. "And I chose Ron over you because you're an arrogant git!"

"An _arrogant git_," Malfoy said, looking pensive. "Hmm…"

"What?" Harry demanded. "Are you finished? May I leave?"

"You're as gay as a maypole, Potter," Malfoy burst out. "And I can't believe you have the nerve to stand there and deny it!"

"I am _not_!" Harry shouted, and a few passing people craned their necks to look.

"Are too," Malfoy said calmly.

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"I am _not_ gay, Malfoy!" Harry snapped. "And I can't believe I'm standing in a corridor with you, arguing about my sexuality!"

"Seems too good to be true, doesn't it?" Malfoy replied, smirking.

"For the last time," Harry spat. "_I am not gay_!"

"Then prove it," Malfoy said simply.

Their noses were less than three millimeters apart. Harry growled in rage and plunged in to kiss Malfoy fiercely. Malfoy's hands immediately moved to rest in Harry's wild hair.

Though his lips were muffled by those of Harry's, he couldn't resist.

"I told you so."


End file.
